Don't marry your best friend. (Part 1)

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Okay. I know I don't have any experience on this subject and I won't pretend I do. At the moment, I am still trying to figure out what exactly I need to do to... attract the right mate. I am equally trying to be the right mate. I won't lie that I don't like weddings. I totally love them. I'm however weary of the rate of divorce. This may sound cliché since everybody seem to be bothered about this. My own bone of contention however, is not the rate of divorce but I am curious to know why?
 
 
 
Infidelity, incompatibility, selfishness and you hear "irreconcilable differences" ( a broad term for "I no dey do again") are some of the reasons why couples path ways these days. What I cannot stomach though is the ready-made counsel you seem to hear. It goes like this: Marry your best friend!. This must be the most unintelligent counsel ever. So, the people who are divorced were never friends? Com'on! Seriously? Marry your best friend?
 
 
 
For all its worth, we may as well start taking Panadol as an anti-HIV drug. This is the biggest lie ever. Friendship is crucial for marriage to take place. There's no denying that. I have discovered that people mean well when they say "Marry your best friend" but that statement is just too sweeping. If suddenly, there is a spike in the rate of divorce, we should not allow the devil import such a lousy theory into our faculties. It sounds very harmless but its just not right.
 
 
 
So what do we do about the rate of divorce? At the risk of committing the same crime of overgeneralizing, I will make my own sweeping statement by saying "Go back to the basics". Yes! We must go back to the basics of marriage. Its not a human idea. Its a God idea. When you buy a product and something fundamentally wrong happens to that product, a wise consumer returns back to the manufacturer who knows the product better than even the so called "repairers". No controversy intended. I will share my own thoughts on how I intend to find my future wife.
 
 
 
Image Credit: Google.

Comments

  1. ElohoJuly 16, 2014 at 3:43 AM

    I think the premise for the maxim, 'Marry your best friend' is that you should be best friends with whomever you are married to and if God's idea was for companionship amongst others, this should not be swept underneath the carpet. IT is not the over riding principle to consider, no...but it is important. That a marriage collapsed doesn't mean that the 'relationship/friendship' was all that was wrong. And I humbly submit that if we look at the causes of hiking divorce rates, we will find many reasons, first of all because we haven't submitted to God's idea for marriage and many of which may have been better handled if the couple were best friends as friends should be. God's idea is the basis and in God's idea is a leave to cleave which is highly enabled by friendship. Fidelity is also highly enabled by friendship. So if a man and woman are joined together, why shouldn't they be best friends? If there is any one God requires for you to share your confidences with, why not your spouse? That is the premise for that general statement in my view and when combined with all the other Biblical principles such as sacrifice, selflessness, submission, purpose and building godly families, I honestly endorse the view. He/she may not be your best friend when you get married but if we follow Biblical principles, no reason he or she shouldn't evolve and grow into being your best friend.

    ReplyDelete
  2. UnknownJune 23, 2018 at 4:16 AM

    Know your purpose - that work assigned by God for you to do on this earth,be doing it, pray that God should reveal your spouse to you,trust that he has answered; take action actively begin to seek as a man or as a woman make your self open to positive interactions with men and check in your heart your spirit the person that agrees with your heart, pray further again,become closer in your companionship to know the other person better,and know their own purpose or what direction they are going in life .meet with your spiritual leaders or guides like pastors,parents,counsellors,mentors get approval ,if not be sure God is with youin your decision of choice of partner.then make adequate preparation for the married life like housing,feeding, responsible living and go ahead

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