When failure wasn't an option.

 

 

In this piece, I share a time in my life when failure didn't even cross my mind. In retrospection, I am having to admire the spirit of an obsessed 16 year old who despite the stakes didn't consider the possibility of failure, stepped up to the plate and achieved merit success. Now older, I really would love to be that me. I'd love to go back to that time when I didn't care about what I had to lose. I want to go back to that time when my faith moved mountains. This is the story of unflinching faith and pursuit.

 

I finished senior secondary school at a virgin age of 16. This was 2003.
 

I had such an enjoyable stellar experience back in college. It was six years of great learning and growth. The boarding school experience toughened me up for life. Prior to this time, I was comfortably a level five sissy who didn't have much fight in him. I remember how I got bullied by kids who were not as healthy as I was. I was undoubtedly the tallest amongst the crop of kids. My Dad would rebuff me saying “I did not give birth to a fool. Get one of these kids wounded and leave it to me and their parents". I did heed his advice but almost got that kid blinded forever. It was sheer luck that I didn't become a terror. All these changed when I got admission into college as a boarding student. I was 10 and this was 1997. This was a huge turning point for me.

 

My first and last attempt with the knotty Joint Admission Matriculation Examination (JAMB) was the same 2003. I didn't meet up with the qualifying score. I was really devastated and disappointed to say the least. The day I went to check the result, I almost didn't return home cos I dreaded my Dad's reaction. I did go back home after much hesitation and as I expected met with Popsi's red eye. How come? How did you do it? What do we do now? You better start preparing for the next JAMB.

 

His last statement "Prepare for the next JAMB" shattered me completely. How on earth will I lose a year? The thought of actually waiting at home when already some of my friends were already confirming admissions into various schools broke me down. Something in me rebelled that idea. I broke down into tears. I Sobbed and sulked through the day. I don't blame my Dad. What do you expect a teacher with a meager salary to say? He probably must have looked at his cash cum bank account and cash flow myopically to have uttered the statement. Everything boiled down to means. He had concluded in his mind; I cannot afford a private university or other remedial options.

 

In the meantime, I was sentenced to a year of waiting. It was days after that a new ray of hope dawned for me. I met with one Tosin; a senior schoolmate who also had bungled his JAMB. He informed me about his decision to enroll in a direct entry remedial programme called Interim Jamb Matriculation (IJMB). IJMB afforded students who had failed JAMB to go through a direct route to gain admission into year two of a university. This sounded like a very good idea and I was very glad. I was bubbling with much joy; finally I have a credible option.

 

The idea of IJMB A levels programme wasn't entirely foreign. I had heard about it back in school but didn't really have much clarity. There were legends about it being uber-rigorous and tough. Further research into the success rate of the exam further revealed very slim chances. I heard things like "ah only 2 in every 5 candidates made it". To crown it all, the registration tuition fees aside living expenses and books was about N50, 000.

 

My parents’ total savings wasn't even up to that. My aunt who was a Dr. of Public Health Medicine also asserted how difficult the exam could be. Her son had enrolled in it a few years before. I summarily stopped fooling myself and teleported myself back to reality.
 

My Mom sat me down and asked me a single phrase question "Is this want you want?" I replied YES! She said I will do whatever it takes to ensure you enroll for the programme. I didn't believe my ears cos I knew what the implication was. My mom would have to empty her entire life savings while securing additional in borrowing. This was to be an amazing sacrifice. True to her word, my Mom mobilized the resources and I was on my way to Ilorin. My bags were packed and all was set. My Dad didn't fail to express his cold feet.

 

The IJMB programme began around the second quarter (sixth month) of the year and so by implication, I had lost almost a considerable amount of time. I had a lot of catching up to do but the adrenaline in me was pumping so fast that nothing seemed insurmountable. I was all about it. I was obsessed and full of unwavering conviction. IJMB was all that mattered. In days, I was already swimming in the ocean of the materials that was dispatched to me. I had no time to think of having lost time. I settled down deep into the materials. And of course, I covered the lost grounds.

 

When I dropped my pen in the exam hall, I knew I had done justice. I wasn't overconfident but I had a gut feeling that IJMB had nothing on me. I was in Lagos holidaying when the results came out. Immediately I heard, some cold shivers went down my spine but I soon shrugged that off. I was a little afraid not of failure cos that would be very post mortem. The deed was done. It was time to come face to face with outcome. The Judgment day was ripe. I journeyed swiftly from Lagos to Ilorin. On my way to the campus, one of my friends; Bayo called me and was screaming in pijin; onif onif! you don scatter o! But.... I no too sure about your Business Management grade. It looks like B and at the same time like C. At this point, I was very uneasy. My reaction was mixed. I wasn't sure if it was time to celebrate or cry.

 

Well, I made it! I cleared all my papers. I aggregated a total of 11 points of 16. The rest is history. I gained admission and it’s over 5 years out of school. I am wiser and better and have learnt a few things about life. Looking back now, I really admire the courage with which I prosecuted my dream. All I wanted was IJMB. Not even the fear of failure or the lack of money deterred me. A lot of factors were not under my control but it appears that I rose above all limitations to fulfill my desire. I hope I have learnt patience also because you can’t always have it your way. Patience like Love according to my Pastor is an action word. Did I mention that God was very much with me throughout this period? I need to let you know that His Spirit was there to energize me. He supplied my needs and granted me the desire of my heart.

 

I conclude by saying that unwavering faith remains a critical satisfying requirement to doing great things in life. I need faith more than ever before.


Image Credit: Google Image